Narrow focus
| Me: | Hah, can you believe this guy has a blog devoted entirely to hummus? |
| Stepdad: | That's crazy. There are government supercomputers constantly scanning for those keywords. I wouldn't even go to those sites, personally. |
| Me: | [Confused silence] Wait, no, hummus not Hamas. |
| Stepdad: | Uh? |
| Me: | The dip, not the terrorist group. |
| Stepdad: | Oh. |
What does that even mean? I don’t know, but I like it.
For a scary motherfucker he's a really nice guy
| Barber: | 24's a good age. No wife to worry about. |
| Me: | No. Girlfriend, though. |
| Barber: | Oh, Hungarian? |
| Me: | Danish. |
| Barber: | Hmm? |
| Me: | Denmark. |
| Barber: | Oh, right. Copenhagen. Worked there for a while. Nice city, except for the bicycles. |
“
Most mimes are trapped in tiny boxes. But not [Foxbat]; he needs one big enough for his ego.
Fresh and clean
| Colleague 1: | I love how it's 2 pm, and you're rolling around the office with a cup of coffee looking like you just got up. |
| Colleague 2: | Actually I was going to say that I think you look good today... compared to how you usually do. It's all relative. |
And a student of mine had to cancel his lesson...
| Student: | I'm going out of town with my girlfriend next week. |
| Me: | (Thinking he had misspoke) Oh, your wife? |
| Student: | Well, she won't be there. |
During today's lesson we talked about twitter, and I found honesty.
| Student: | Do you have a twitter? |
| Me: | No, between facebook and my blog I don't really need it. |
| Student: | You have a blog? What do you blog about? |
| Me: | Whatever's on my mind, barely comprehensible stream of consciousness stuff. Photos. Songs I like. |
| Student: | Can I read it? |
| Me: | No, it's kind of personal. |
| Student: | Why's that? |
| Me: | I mostly just blog about old girlfriends. |
I take solace in the fact that I’m at least somewhat self-aware.
Catching up
| EL: | So how are you doing over there? |
| Me: | Good for the most part. Enjoying work and stuff. A bit under the weather at the moment, though; I think my body is in open revolt. |
| EL: | Well, I've always thought your body was revolting. |
| Me: | ...Thanks kid. |
Back handed compliments and the women who give them.
